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Cactus Jack (Troll Street Sam w/ enhanced hearing) and Shade-Runner (elf Street Sam/Assassin) had just escaped from an apparent random Halloweener's attack on a bar that turned out to actually be a Lonestar ambush. As it goes Jack and Shade-Runner had just come out of the sewers where they had escaped the attack. Jack after exiting the sewers takes the sewer lid and carries it around with him for a bit swearing that if he saw a halloweener or lonestar officer he was going to throw the lid at them.
GM: As you two are walking down the road towards one of the designated safe houses for your group you think you see a halloweener duck into an alleway. Roll perception.
Jack: {rolls a 17}
Shade-Runner: {rolls a 6}
GM: Shade-Runner you think you see the tell tale orange of the gangers, but are uncertain. Jack you do see orange turn the corner, then you hear the sound of velcro ripping. what do you do?
Jack: I throw the manhole cover end over end towrads the sound of velcro ripping.
GM: Ok roll your strength and Shade-Runner,roll your dodge.
Jack: {rolls a 34}
Shade-Runner: {rolls a 14}
GM: Jack you throw the cover with full force and hear a blood curtling scream and also the sound of metal crunching. Shade you managed to move just intime for the manhole cover to give you a very close shave.
Shade-Runner: "Holy Frag ya almost hit me"
Jack: "Ya were in da way"
GM: so what do you do now?
Shade-Runner: "I'll go inspect where the cover hit."
Jack: "I'll follow."
GM: you head to the alley where you saw someone go down only to find a man in a hunter Orange running suit sitting in his Americar flattened by the cover. the man was listening to an Ipod 2000. What do you do.
Shade-Runner: I pick up the ipod, listen to a few songs and look through the play list.
GM: you listen to a couple of songs, then look through the play list and see mostly polka, country and country rap (yes apparently Cowboy Troy became big and several other country rappers came out of the woodworks.)
Shade-Runner: "jeeze this guy had some bad taste in music but come on Jack ya didn't have ta kill him for it."
GM: As you two are walking down the road towards one of the designated safe houses for your group you think you see a halloweener duck into an alleway. Roll perception.
Jack: {rolls a 17}
Shade-Runner: {rolls a 6}
GM: Shade-Runner you think you see the tell tale orange of the gangers, but are uncertain. Jack you do see orange turn the corner, then you hear the sound of velcro ripping. what do you do?
Jack: I throw the manhole cover end over end towrads the sound of velcro ripping.
GM: Ok roll your strength and Shade-Runner,roll your dodge.
Jack: {rolls a 34}
Shade-Runner: {rolls a 14}
GM: Jack you throw the cover with full force and hear a blood curtling scream and also the sound of metal crunching. Shade you managed to move just intime for the manhole cover to give you a very close shave.
Shade-Runner: "Holy Frag ya almost hit me"
Jack: "Ya were in da way"
GM: so what do you do now?
Shade-Runner: "I'll go inspect where the cover hit."
Jack: "I'll follow."
GM: you head to the alley where you saw someone go down only to find a man in a hunter Orange running suit sitting in his Americar flattened by the cover. the man was listening to an Ipod 2000. What do you do.
Shade-Runner: I pick up the ipod, listen to a few songs and look through the play list.
GM: you listen to a couple of songs, then look through the play list and see mostly polka, country and country rap (yes apparently Cowboy Troy became big and several other country rappers came out of the woodworks.)
Shade-Runner: "jeeze this guy had some bad taste in music but come on Jack ya didn't have ta kill him for it."
Whilst on a body guarding job, to the clown (literally) they are guarding:
"Don't worry. If anyone ever gives you any trouble, we'll break a wooden spoon off in their hoop and throw them out of a van."
"Don't worry. If anyone ever gives you any trouble, we'll break a wooden spoon off in their hoop and throw them out of a van."
The Great Krass:
Mao looked at Pelch as they left his new apartment, "So now what?"
Pelch looked back in disgust, "You mean you STILL haven't figured out what it is you want to do? if you were to work any faster, you might even achieve a standstill."
Mao shrugged, "What do you think the others are doing"?"
Pelch smiled evilly, "Probably sitting with their thumbs up their bum and committing miscellaneous odor offenses and blaming each other for their fates.. Who cares? I needed a rest. Can you imagine Quick giving Widow a Vaseline injection? I'm sorry I missed that. It's the kind of natural stupidity that no amount of training could ever match. Now are you going to stop worrying about what the others are doing and get on with the job?"
Mao looked at Pelch sideways, "We are still trying to get the Rainbows out of Yakima, right?"
"You have to ask? Isn't that what we are supposed to be doing. Now considering the amount of back up and help we have been getting by the home team, do you really want to wait until they decide to get their fragging act together? Perhaps I should remind you that dying is a talent we all share, even you. Johnsons expect results. How much results have we been getting lately? What's the matter is staying alive to complicated for you?"
"So we're going it alone? Not a good idea in my opinion."
"Well, you are entitled to your opinion but it's your assumption that I am entitled to it as well that I find irritating."
Mao looked startled and stopped to look at the dwarf in surprise. "Are you going through a midlife crisis or is it just that time of month? Why the crabbies all of a sudden?"
Pelch continued walking again and said nothing. Mao hurried to catch up wondering.
Mao looked at Pelch as they left his new apartment, "So now what?"
Pelch looked back in disgust, "You mean you STILL haven't figured out what it is you want to do? if you were to work any faster, you might even achieve a standstill."
Mao shrugged, "What do you think the others are doing"?"
Pelch smiled evilly, "Probably sitting with their thumbs up their bum and committing miscellaneous odor offenses and blaming each other for their fates.. Who cares? I needed a rest. Can you imagine Quick giving Widow a Vaseline injection? I'm sorry I missed that. It's the kind of natural stupidity that no amount of training could ever match. Now are you going to stop worrying about what the others are doing and get on with the job?"
Mao looked at Pelch sideways, "We are still trying to get the Rainbows out of Yakima, right?"
"You have to ask? Isn't that what we are supposed to be doing. Now considering the amount of back up and help we have been getting by the home team, do you really want to wait until they decide to get their fragging act together? Perhaps I should remind you that dying is a talent we all share, even you. Johnsons expect results. How much results have we been getting lately? What's the matter is staying alive to complicated for you?"
"So we're going it alone? Not a good idea in my opinion."
"Well, you are entitled to your opinion but it's your assumption that I am entitled to it as well that I find irritating."
Mao looked startled and stopped to look at the dwarf in surprise. "Are you going through a midlife crisis or is it just that time of month? Why the crabbies all of a sudden?"
Pelch continued walking again and said nothing. Mao hurried to catch up wondering.
From: http://www.theshadowrun.net/
Room 6:
The Retro's are celebrating the removal of the Rainbow from Yakima Forest after the UCAS forces levelled the place. These are some of the comments made.
Ronilion to Eon after getting a head start on the rest of the Retro's, “I’m going down to the bar to sober up.”
Patterson to Pelch, "Oh, I hate alcohol, too. Give me a bottle of the stuff and I’m pissing it right out an hour or two later.”
Luddington to Eon while watching Om's (Mao's) trial on the news, “It sucks when decent, hardworking people get screwed over like that. Because that means dicks like us don’t stand a chance.”
Pelch to the bartender as he is walking in, "Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab.”
JoAnne to Drassel looking at Krass dancing on the table with a stripper, “Can you mute the idiot box?”
Ronilion to the barmaid, “Can I get a shot of whiskey to wash down that shot of tequila?”
Bartender, (Fatman) to the group, “I’m not fat. I’m larger than life.”
Eon intentionally dumping her Sierra Nevada beer in Krass's lap, “Why should I apologize? It was my beer!”
Krass's response, "“She spilled a beer on me. That’s foreplay.”
Drassel picking himself up off the floor and trying not to look drunk, “I’m a fashion nut, and I was just checking on what shoes people are wearing this season.”
Krass to the barmaid he is trying to pick up, “How do you look when I’m sober?”
Barmaid to Luddington who appears to have lost the drinking contest with Pelch, “If you want something you’ll have to speak up. I can understand Drunk all night long but I’m not fluent in DREK Head.”
Ronilion to Eon as a wobbly Krass approaches the table, “Keep your legs together, and don’t get high-centered.”
Pelch to Luddington during the drinking contest, “It’s because I don’t believe in God that I am so terrified of him.”
Patterson to the bartender as Pelch approaches, “Bartender, one more pony Bud, please. They give me the illusion of height to fend off the Lilliputians.”
Krass to Eon, “You better stop drinking because you’re getting
blurry.”
Ronilion to Pelch, “Hey, can you help me find my cell phone? I need to call my cigarettes.”
Drassel to JoAnne, “If you don’t drink in the morning, you can’t be drunk all day.”
Krass to Eon, “Now that I can see two of you, you’re twice as hot.”
Patterson to the bartender, “Gin is a morose widow. Tequila is the supple mistress with the cojones to attend the funeral. Pour me some mistress.”
Pelch to the group, Whose round is it? Can’t be mine already, I bought one four drinks ago. Who’s the fifth guy? Mao? Where’s that drekhole? Step up to the plate! Fifth man up!”
Bartender (Fatman) to Krass, “So, have you always been a tool, or are you just going for the ‘look’?”
Krass to Pelch as he has several strippers dancing around him, “These floozies aren’t sluts, man. They’re just liberated."
Krass to Eon, “The drinking will continue until you show a dramatic improvement in attitude.”
Ronilion to the group, “We’ve had enough to drink. Now let’s have too much.”
Patterson to Pelch, “Either I’ve fallen down or you guys have turned into giants.”
Krass the next morning when none of them know how they got home except for Eon and JoAnne, “According to the wussies, last night was a six binger.”
Pelch looks blearily at Krass as he opens one of the beers he stole during the evening, “Time for a pint of Good Morning America.”
Drassel responds, “Gentlemen, at approximately nine o’clock last night, a small scouting force was sent into the vicinity of my liver. They’ve not been heard from. A rescue force was dispatched, but they, too, have been lost. I’m afraid I have no choice but to declare a state of full-scale war with my liver. Time for a martini.”
Krass explaining his morning after date, "I kinda like it when the girl makes me buy her a drink or two before making out with me—makes it look like she has standards. At least one of us should."
Room 6:
The Retro's are celebrating the removal of the Rainbow from Yakima Forest after the UCAS forces levelled the place. These are some of the comments made.
Ronilion to Eon after getting a head start on the rest of the Retro's, “I’m going down to the bar to sober up.”
Patterson to Pelch, "Oh, I hate alcohol, too. Give me a bottle of the stuff and I’m pissing it right out an hour or two later.”
Luddington to Eon while watching Om's (Mao's) trial on the news, “It sucks when decent, hardworking people get screwed over like that. Because that means dicks like us don’t stand a chance.”
Pelch to the bartender as he is walking in, "Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab.”
JoAnne to Drassel looking at Krass dancing on the table with a stripper, “Can you mute the idiot box?”
Ronilion to the barmaid, “Can I get a shot of whiskey to wash down that shot of tequila?”
Bartender, (Fatman) to the group, “I’m not fat. I’m larger than life.”
Eon intentionally dumping her Sierra Nevada beer in Krass's lap, “Why should I apologize? It was my beer!”
Krass's response, "“She spilled a beer on me. That’s foreplay.”
Drassel picking himself up off the floor and trying not to look drunk, “I’m a fashion nut, and I was just checking on what shoes people are wearing this season.”
Krass to the barmaid he is trying to pick up, “How do you look when I’m sober?”
Barmaid to Luddington who appears to have lost the drinking contest with Pelch, “If you want something you’ll have to speak up. I can understand Drunk all night long but I’m not fluent in DREK Head.”
Ronilion to Eon as a wobbly Krass approaches the table, “Keep your legs together, and don’t get high-centered.”
Pelch to Luddington during the drinking contest, “It’s because I don’t believe in God that I am so terrified of him.”
Patterson to the bartender as Pelch approaches, “Bartender, one more pony Bud, please. They give me the illusion of height to fend off the Lilliputians.”
Krass to Eon, “You better stop drinking because you’re getting
blurry.”
Ronilion to Pelch, “Hey, can you help me find my cell phone? I need to call my cigarettes.”
Drassel to JoAnne, “If you don’t drink in the morning, you can’t be drunk all day.”
Krass to Eon, “Now that I can see two of you, you’re twice as hot.”
Patterson to the bartender, “Gin is a morose widow. Tequila is the supple mistress with the cojones to attend the funeral. Pour me some mistress.”
Pelch to the group, Whose round is it? Can’t be mine already, I bought one four drinks ago. Who’s the fifth guy? Mao? Where’s that drekhole? Step up to the plate! Fifth man up!”
Bartender (Fatman) to Krass, “So, have you always been a tool, or are you just going for the ‘look’?”
Krass to Pelch as he has several strippers dancing around him, “These floozies aren’t sluts, man. They’re just liberated."
Krass to Eon, “The drinking will continue until you show a dramatic improvement in attitude.”
Ronilion to the group, “We’ve had enough to drink. Now let’s have too much.”
Patterson to Pelch, “Either I’ve fallen down or you guys have turned into giants.”
Krass the next morning when none of them know how they got home except for Eon and JoAnne, “According to the wussies, last night was a six binger.”
Pelch looks blearily at Krass as he opens one of the beers he stole during the evening, “Time for a pint of Good Morning America.”
Drassel responds, “Gentlemen, at approximately nine o’clock last night, a small scouting force was sent into the vicinity of my liver. They’ve not been heard from. A rescue force was dispatched, but they, too, have been lost. I’m afraid I have no choice but to declare a state of full-scale war with my liver. Time for a martini.”
Krass explaining his morning after date, "I kinda like it when the girl makes me buy her a drink or two before making out with me—makes it look like she has standards. At least one of us should."
Don spoke quietly, "The best rice is NOT white and I am sticking with the job. We are still working the Skagit end, but our job at Skagit has expanded. What is it we are supposed to be doing?"
"We are supposed to be looking for Security loopholes in the Skagit Facility then we are supposed to report them to the team. The team is supposed to report them to Dom's Control when he gets here and then Dom decides what to pass onto the Johnson that hired BB so we can track his hoop down. Mao stated as he ran through a group of nuns trying to cross the road. They scattered like a covey of quail as they tried to avoid his truck. Mao had the right-of-way, his vehicle was bigger. The nuns cursed at him and several threw rocks after his departing truck. The rocks never had a chance of catching up.
"We are supposed to be looking for Security loopholes in the Skagit Facility then we are supposed to report them to the team. The team is supposed to report them to Dom's Control when he gets here and then Dom decides what to pass onto the Johnson that hired BB so we can track his hoop down. Mao stated as he ran through a group of nuns trying to cross the road. They scattered like a covey of quail as they tried to avoid his truck. Mao had the right-of-way, his vehicle was bigger. The nuns cursed at him and several threw rocks after his departing truck. The rocks never had a chance of catching up.
Pelch shook his head, "No. I have a doss down on Yesler way at the Sinking Ship. We don't dare use the truck either. If the terrorists have been watching it they know that truck has been going in and out of Skagit. I doubt they traced it to here, but we are going to need different wheels. We are going to have to have a presence somewhere so we will use my doss. It fits with how we would be living if we we're Rainbow Clan. That means we need to change our clothes and habits too. I'm afraid that means a trip back to Corndork's by foot. " Pelch suddenly smiled as he had a thought. "That means you have to lose the hat and you have to change your clothes at Corndork's. Can you smell the love in the air?"
Mao suddenly remembered that Corndork had tried to seduce him last time he was there. He also remembered her voice gave him headaches. BAD headaches. He looked unhappy. He looked at Pelch's drek eating grin and just knew what the fragger was thinking. He was going to use Corndork's lust to get a 'deal' on the stuff he planned to buy and Mao just knew that he would be paying the price for that discount. He thought, FAST.
Mao suddenly remembered that Corndork had tried to seduce him last time he was there. He also remembered her voice gave him headaches. BAD headaches. He looked unhappy. He looked at Pelch's drek eating grin and just knew what the fragger was thinking. He was going to use Corndork's lust to get a 'deal' on the stuff he planned to buy and Mao just knew that he would be paying the price for that discount. He thought, FAST.
Pelch smiled, "If I said 'Yes' to that would you have a cow? The answer though is 'NO'. Sure we wanted to see if we had a tail and how determined he was to walk around with us. He's determined but lazy. He has a bunch of people following us around so it's a guy that has some juice backing his play. Now who do we know that is slotted off enough right now to be pulling this kind of drek?"
Mao thought for a moment. "JJ."
"JJ," Pelch stated nodding as he cleaned the dish. "it's obvious her and that orc are still in the game. Look's like our fearless leadership lead them right back to us and didn't negate the threat they still pose."
Mao shrugged, "Or you're missing a point." Pelch raised an eyebrow and wiggled his ears. Mao thought a moment, how does a goof like Pelch have the capacity to wiggle his ears and raise an eyebrow at the same time? He got on with business though. "Maybe our own team hired him to trail us and you wasted my shoe leather waltzing him around."
Pelch smiled brightly, "You have improved. Of course I considered that. Do you REALLY believe our wonderful leaders have the brains God gave a crawling louse tick? Do you REALLY, REALLY think they even thought of that?"
Mao shook his head negatively. "OK admitted, they haven't been on the ball much so far, but sometimes people DO luck out. Maye they learned some lessons from the last run. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sure so far they haven't been shining examples of humanity but I have hopes."
Pelch laughed harshly, "Stop trying to to get me to send a Valentine to your hand.
Mao thought for a moment. "JJ."
"JJ," Pelch stated nodding as he cleaned the dish. "it's obvious her and that orc are still in the game. Look's like our fearless leadership lead them right back to us and didn't negate the threat they still pose."
Mao shrugged, "Or you're missing a point." Pelch raised an eyebrow and wiggled his ears. Mao thought a moment, how does a goof like Pelch have the capacity to wiggle his ears and raise an eyebrow at the same time? He got on with business though. "Maybe our own team hired him to trail us and you wasted my shoe leather waltzing him around."
Pelch smiled brightly, "You have improved. Of course I considered that. Do you REALLY believe our wonderful leaders have the brains God gave a crawling louse tick? Do you REALLY, REALLY think they even thought of that?"
Mao shook his head negatively. "OK admitted, they haven't been on the ball much so far, but sometimes people DO luck out. Maye they learned some lessons from the last run. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sure so far they haven't been shining examples of humanity but I have hopes."
Pelch laughed harshly, "Stop trying to to get me to send a Valentine to your hand.
Don wandered out on the front of the Orientation area in his new Drek Brown supervisor jumpsuit. Mao was hard at work in his pale lavender, probationary' jumpsuit. As Don approached he heard Mao whistling that old tune from Monty Python called ' I'm a lumberjack.' Don decided to sing along a bit. "I'm a gardener and I'm OK I sleep all night and I plant all day! I dress in grubby clothing, and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden With the dirt, plants and bugs . . ."
Mao adjusted his hat and looked at the dwarf. "That isn't how the song goes and how the heck did you get a supervisor's uniform?"
Don smiled, "Easy enough. I've been premoted." He was about to continue when Mao interrupted him.
"That's not PREmoted, it's PROmoted. You know I'm always amazed at your command of your own language. "
"It's that language chip BB had installed." grouched Don. "Now stop correcting me, I'm your new bossman, and unlike our last bossman, I don't have a finger stuck up my nose."
Mao was tempted to point out that he probably had his head stuck up his hoop and that was worse, but decided it might not be a good time to bring it to Don's attention.
Oh I'm happy in the garden With the dirt, plants and bugs . . ."
Mao adjusted his hat and looked at the dwarf. "That isn't how the song goes and how the heck did you get a supervisor's uniform?"
Don smiled, "Easy enough. I've been premoted." He was about to continue when Mao interrupted him.
"That's not PREmoted, it's PROmoted. You know I'm always amazed at your command of your own language. "
"It's that language chip BB had installed." grouched Don. "Now stop correcting me, I'm your new bossman, and unlike our last bossman, I don't have a finger stuck up my nose."
Mao was tempted to point out that he probably had his head stuck up his hoop and that was worse, but decided it might not be a good time to bring it to Don's attention.
Not everyone who smiles or feeds you is a friend, especially in SR.
Headcrack beat him to it grabbing the one Pelch was reaching for just before the dwarf could grab it. He scooped some chili fires off the platter as well. He tasted the burger. Pelch must like hot sauce. The barbecue on the burger burned his tongue. He took a chili fry and it was worse! He quickly opened the bulb of coke and drank. If anything, it burnt more. Tears came to his eyes. Pelch noted the look and laughed a bit and offered his beer. "Sorry, I like my food hot. Mao does too. You should have seen the curry dish he gave me at the mall. Then again you probably did. You really need a beer to wash that down and cut the peppers a bit. You can try mine or I'll make you one."
As Headcrack continued to drink from the bulb he suddenly noticed some writing on the bottom of the bulb. It was small and somewhat childish but readable. As he drank the words read; 'You have just been poisoned.' He tossed the bulb down and went for his gun but he was unsteady. The reaction of his movement caused him to fall out of the chair. He rolled onto the floor and watched as several Pelches reached down and took his gun away. Pelch spoke quietly to the orc, with a slight smile on his lips "Did you know that Mao told me that on Death Row the number one last meal ordered by convicts about to be killed was double cheeseburgers and fries, with Cola and Ice Cream, usually chocolate? They don't usually let you have alcohol and I figured you wouldn't want the beer in the glass. A smart guy like you knows a bulb is safer. Not safe enough though to a guy with the right equipment." Then Headcrack passed out.
Headcrack beat him to it grabbing the one Pelch was reaching for just before the dwarf could grab it. He scooped some chili fires off the platter as well. He tasted the burger. Pelch must like hot sauce. The barbecue on the burger burned his tongue. He took a chili fry and it was worse! He quickly opened the bulb of coke and drank. If anything, it burnt more. Tears came to his eyes. Pelch noted the look and laughed a bit and offered his beer. "Sorry, I like my food hot. Mao does too. You should have seen the curry dish he gave me at the mall. Then again you probably did. You really need a beer to wash that down and cut the peppers a bit. You can try mine or I'll make you one."
As Headcrack continued to drink from the bulb he suddenly noticed some writing on the bottom of the bulb. It was small and somewhat childish but readable. As he drank the words read; 'You have just been poisoned.' He tossed the bulb down and went for his gun but he was unsteady. The reaction of his movement caused him to fall out of the chair. He rolled onto the floor and watched as several Pelches reached down and took his gun away. Pelch spoke quietly to the orc, with a slight smile on his lips "Did you know that Mao told me that on Death Row the number one last meal ordered by convicts about to be killed was double cheeseburgers and fries, with Cola and Ice Cream, usually chocolate? They don't usually let you have alcohol and I figured you wouldn't want the beer in the glass. A smart guy like you knows a bulb is safer. Not safe enough though to a guy with the right equipment." Then Headcrack passed out.
Pelch speaking to Mao, Quick and Widow:
You know Widow, fortunately for you, not every guilty pleasure has to break the bank, ruin your gums, cause brutal hangovers or result in motherhood, although if you didn't take precautions you could be up the duff.. Some guilty pleasures even have a positive side. Looks like you and Quick found something to do in your threesome with JJ. The upside is you're going to need a new wardrobe, the downside is you better stock up on baby formula and diapers from the look of you two. It's so nice that you found consolation in each others arms during your trying ordeal or did you include JJ and she was so pleased she just HAD to let you guys go. So where's the three way wedding ring?"
He looked at Mao, What is it with humans and elves boffing everything in site? There you are putting the meat to two underage blonde elf girls out at Yakima and now Widow and Quick are doing the same with that elf biff JJ in Port Orchard City Hall. Everyone seems to have gone all Krass style. Is it the breeding season or something?"
You know Widow, fortunately for you, not every guilty pleasure has to break the bank, ruin your gums, cause brutal hangovers or result in motherhood, although if you didn't take precautions you could be up the duff.. Some guilty pleasures even have a positive side. Looks like you and Quick found something to do in your threesome with JJ. The upside is you're going to need a new wardrobe, the downside is you better stock up on baby formula and diapers from the look of you two. It's so nice that you found consolation in each others arms during your trying ordeal or did you include JJ and she was so pleased she just HAD to let you guys go. So where's the three way wedding ring?"
He looked at Mao, What is it with humans and elves boffing everything in site? There you are putting the meat to two underage blonde elf girls out at Yakima and now Widow and Quick are doing the same with that elf biff JJ in Port Orchard City Hall. Everyone seems to have gone all Krass style. Is it the breeding season or something?"
He spoke to Pelch quietly. "You know Pelch, it's ill-mannered to kill your friends and partners while attempting to commit suicide. Why the frag did I ever follow you into that vehicle before I knew what you were going to do?" Mao finished rhetorically.
Pelch smiled tightly, "Easy answer, because you're STUPID. You were born Stupid, you always been STUPID, and you'll die STUPID. You know how much I hate walking? We can't even call the Lair since we are in disguise as Clanners. We don't have a vehicle, we don't have communicators and the last I heard the fragging HQ was locked down again. Where the FRAG is our back up? That's what I'm asking you!"
Mao walked out of the ally and saw a mid level suit just opening a door on a Toro. "Grand Theft Auto, Seattle edition." Pelch stated blithely as he pulled out a shock baton from his clanner clothes. Coming up behind the suit he raised the baton quickly between the guys legs. The results were quite satisfactory for Pelch and electrifying for the suit. Mao took the guys briefcase and wallet as the suit fell to the ground. Pelch reached over and picked up the dropped security control and handed Mao the keys and climbed in. "Time to go, you coming or not?"
Pelch smiled tightly, "Easy answer, because you're STUPID. You were born Stupid, you always been STUPID, and you'll die STUPID. You know how much I hate walking? We can't even call the Lair since we are in disguise as Clanners. We don't have a vehicle, we don't have communicators and the last I heard the fragging HQ was locked down again. Where the FRAG is our back up? That's what I'm asking you!"
Mao walked out of the ally and saw a mid level suit just opening a door on a Toro. "Grand Theft Auto, Seattle edition." Pelch stated blithely as he pulled out a shock baton from his clanner clothes. Coming up behind the suit he raised the baton quickly between the guys legs. The results were quite satisfactory for Pelch and electrifying for the suit. Mao took the guys briefcase and wallet as the suit fell to the ground. Pelch reached over and picked up the dropped security control and handed Mao the keys and climbed in. "Time to go, you coming or not?"
Krass to Pelch about Loyalty, "I mean, look, the other day I was getting a handjob from David Duke. Sure, it was nice and all, but that doesn't mean we like each other or anything. We have nothing at all in common, really. Except for some occasional fun.
PS, that doesn't make me gay."
Krass to Pelch while staring at Eon, "Hey, who invited the hot chick with all the bling? I’d like to take her for a long voyage aboard my Promtheus Class Imperial Transport and interface with her pleasure modules, if you know what I’m talking about. And I think you do."
Pelch looks at Krass warily, "I'm not David Duke so back off. Talking to you I get the impression I have met more intelligent life in a prison blanket."
PS, that doesn't make me gay."
Krass to Pelch while staring at Eon, "Hey, who invited the hot chick with all the bling? I’d like to take her for a long voyage aboard my Promtheus Class Imperial Transport and interface with her pleasure modules, if you know what I’m talking about. And I think you do."
Pelch looks at Krass warily, "I'm not David Duke so back off. Talking to you I get the impression I have met more intelligent life in a prison blanket."
The Team are sat in a grimy bar a few blocks away from an Aries Corp building, they must somehow get inside and steal the blue prints for a new weapon being made by the mega-corp.
Sammy Kray: (a cyber-punk ork, ganger thingy) "So how the frag do we get in? Thats gotta be the most well protected corp Ive ever seen, just look what the spiders did to Black IC!" *points to a vampiric Hacker who is laying face down on a table with blood running out of her ears"
GraveDigger (the team Combat Mage who managed to blow up Hawaii) "Well we could-" *gets cut off by Tommy Kray, Sammy's identical twin brother (with a big fanned mohican) "GD, last time we followed one of your plans I almost died!!!!"
Grave Digger: "hehe, oh yeah, I forgot"
The team sit in silence for a few minutes
Tommy Kray: "I know! follow me guys!" *Leads the team to the front gate of the corp*
Techy (A Dwarf Drone Rigger who's usually the brunt of the teams jokes and such): "What the hell Tommy!"
Corporate Voice: Who are you, and what is your business
Tommy Kray: *Turning his head sideways on, towards the camera* Im Aries! Let me the frag in!"
((Tommy has a large mohican, look at the aries corp logo, youll understand the relevance))
Sammy Kray: (a cyber-punk ork, ganger thingy) "So how the frag do we get in? Thats gotta be the most well protected corp Ive ever seen, just look what the spiders did to Black IC!" *points to a vampiric Hacker who is laying face down on a table with blood running out of her ears"
GraveDigger (the team Combat Mage who managed to blow up Hawaii) "Well we could-" *gets cut off by Tommy Kray, Sammy's identical twin brother (with a big fanned mohican) "GD, last time we followed one of your plans I almost died!!!!"
Grave Digger: "hehe, oh yeah, I forgot"
The team sit in silence for a few minutes
Tommy Kray: "I know! follow me guys!" *Leads the team to the front gate of the corp*
Techy (A Dwarf Drone Rigger who's usually the brunt of the teams jokes and such): "What the hell Tommy!"
Corporate Voice: Who are you, and what is your business
Tommy Kray: *Turning his head sideways on, towards the camera* Im Aries! Let me the frag in!"
((Tommy has a large mohican, look at the aries corp logo, youll understand the relevance))
After meeting a Johnson and discovering that the group vehicle has been replaced by a pizza van (which is then thoroughly searched, leaving the discovery of a mountain of pizzas), and driving off in it.
GM: Vroom, vroom. The Bulldog wheels off the side of the streets without incident. Behind you a pizza delivery man chases the van, screaming inaudibly, before throwing his cellphone at you.
GM: Vroom, vroom. The Bulldog wheels off the side of the streets without incident. Behind you a pizza delivery man chases the van, screaming inaudibly, before throwing his cellphone at you.
Elven Street Sammy (w/ a Predator to the Ganger's head): You might want to tell my friend what he wants to know, I seem to be having an allergic reaction to my fireams reflex recorder.
Ganger:Huh?
Face: He's got an itchy trigger finger, drekhead.
Ganger:Huh?
Face: He's got an itchy trigger finger, drekhead.
"It ain't as easy as that. I keep picking up fragging rumors of a new CONTROL, some slot called Janie Andrews. What I have found out is that she has a killer rep for doing the fragging impossible"
"Another fragging useless brain dead CONTROL." Pelch spat on the ground in disgust. "Impossible? She better be GOD. She'd need a fragging miracle with that bunch. I can't believe you're worried about another Brain Dead fragging CONTROL from Z Street? Listen to what you're saying here. They could have Slade the Sniper, Derek Hunt corporate secrets stealer and Brandi Beauty super spy all wrapped in one and whoever that fragging Control is they won't be able to get one fragging ounce of work or thought out of that crew. You're as safe as a babe in his mothers arms." Pelch finished in obvious disgust.
"Another fragging useless brain dead CONTROL." Pelch spat on the ground in disgust. "Impossible? She better be GOD. She'd need a fragging miracle with that bunch. I can't believe you're worried about another Brain Dead fragging CONTROL from Z Street? Listen to what you're saying here. They could have Slade the Sniper, Derek Hunt corporate secrets stealer and Brandi Beauty super spy all wrapped in one and whoever that fragging Control is they won't be able to get one fragging ounce of work or thought out of that crew. You're as safe as a babe in his mothers arms." Pelch finished in obvious disgust.
Tip of the iceberg stuff. Face it. We could be in the same steaming bowl of drek together. Don't that make you feel good? They might even hit Mao in the pen but I suspect they'll leave him for last. Not many places you can run in prison and accidents are easier to make happen there. He might be on borrowed time too."
Pelch cursed. "FRAGNAGITZ! You mean now I got to actually go pull that idiot Mao out of jail so he don't get killed? I was going to leave his hoop in there until he figured out how to escape on his own or he got fragging old. Now in order to save his life I got to go drag his useless worthless hoop out of there after all. I'm beginning to really hate you."
Headcrack smiled. "Hey lay it on Z Street. If they weren't fragging us both I wouldn't even be in the sprawl and you could continue your life of deceit and treachery. How's the repossession/resale business coming by the way? Remember, I didn't say you HAD to rescue your old partner. I just said he might be under the same ax. You could leave him there to get killed. That should make you happy. You could steal and rip off all his stuff and make a BIG profit. That Ferrari of his has to be worth some big NuYen. Maybe you could trade it to the NEW CONTROL for your life. A cold heartless greedy SUMBIATCH like you shouldn't have any problem with that."
Pelch cursed. "FRAGNAGITZ! You mean now I got to actually go pull that idiot Mao out of jail so he don't get killed? I was going to leave his hoop in there until he figured out how to escape on his own or he got fragging old. Now in order to save his life I got to go drag his useless worthless hoop out of there after all. I'm beginning to really hate you."
Headcrack smiled. "Hey lay it on Z Street. If they weren't fragging us both I wouldn't even be in the sprawl and you could continue your life of deceit and treachery. How's the repossession/resale business coming by the way? Remember, I didn't say you HAD to rescue your old partner. I just said he might be under the same ax. You could leave him there to get killed. That should make you happy. You could steal and rip off all his stuff and make a BIG profit. That Ferrari of his has to be worth some big NuYen. Maybe you could trade it to the NEW CONTROL for your life. A cold heartless greedy SUMBIATCH like you shouldn't have any problem with that."
http://www.theshadowrun.net/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=3088#3088
Most people don't know me. Most people don't want to know me. Right now? It isn't a good thing to be anywhere near me. I'm running down a trash strewn ally as devil rats snear at me. I'm dripping blood from my chest and the wounds feel like poison. I have a recently dead, cops hand cannon, in my bruised hand and it only has three bullets left in it. In my recent past I have two dead girls laying in their apartment with my cast off ratbag clothes and a ravening stone city spirit in the form of a gargoyle from hell on my trail. You ever have one of those fragging days? Lately, I've been having one of those fragging lifetimes! It seems everything I touch turns to drek.
Most people don't know me. Most people don't want to know me. Right now? It isn't a good thing to be anywhere near me. I'm running down a trash strewn ally as devil rats snear at me. I'm dripping blood from my chest and the wounds feel like poison. I have a recently dead, cops hand cannon, in my bruised hand and it only has three bullets left in it. In my recent past I have two dead girls laying in their apartment with my cast off ratbag clothes and a ravening stone city spirit in the form of a gargoyle from hell on my trail. You ever have one of those fragging days? Lately, I've been having one of those fragging lifetimes! It seems everything I touch turns to drek.
Headcrack shut off his machine and looked warily at the installation. It was a fragging fortress. He looked at Pelch with disgust. "Tell me again your fragging genius plan to break Mao out of here. You'd need an army! You got an army somewhere I don't know about?"
Pelch wasn't going to let the orc know just how much at a loss he was so he LIED, as usual. "You're too negative. I don't need no fragging army to get an idiot like Mao out of here. Look at those guys. Their all muscle and no brain. They ain't none of them got the brain power to light a candle in an outhouse." Pelch said sneeringly.
Headcrack looked unconvinced. "Maybe not but they got enough muscle to THROW the outhouse for miles! Sometimes brains ain't all their cracked up to be. If they get their meaty paws on you I don't think you can sweet talk them out of mashing your bones to make their bread."
Pelch wasn't going to let the orc know just how much at a loss he was so he LIED, as usual. "You're too negative. I don't need no fragging army to get an idiot like Mao out of here. Look at those guys. Their all muscle and no brain. They ain't none of them got the brain power to light a candle in an outhouse." Pelch said sneeringly.
Headcrack looked unconvinced. "Maybe not but they got enough muscle to THROW the outhouse for miles! Sometimes brains ain't all their cracked up to be. If they get their meaty paws on you I don't think you can sweet talk them out of mashing your bones to make their bread."
Pelch looked at Freddy with a snickery grin. "Congratulations Snake Eyes. She just swept you up into the dustpan of despair and dumped you in the bin of misery. All you succeeded in doing is showing your rosey red hoop. Looks to me like you gained nothing."
Freddy shrugged. "At least I still get paid and I don't have to worry about you fragging things up. This time old Tuskan-nini gets to deal with that. Of course without being able to use a lodge I guess you will just have to work with whatever skills I have right now. The best part is I came out the winner in this negotiation. I get the same pay but I don't have to try to explain your drek to anyone. All I have to do is follow your hoops around and wait for you all to frag up. That shouldn't take too long."
Mao smiled at Pelch as he adjusted his hat. "He has a point."
Pelch glared at Mao.
Freddy shrugged. "At least I still get paid and I don't have to worry about you fragging things up. This time old Tuskan-nini gets to deal with that. Of course without being able to use a lodge I guess you will just have to work with whatever skills I have right now. The best part is I came out the winner in this negotiation. I get the same pay but I don't have to try to explain your drek to anyone. All I have to do is follow your hoops around and wait for you all to frag up. That shouldn't take too long."
Mao smiled at Pelch as he adjusted his hat. "He has a point."
Pelch glared at Mao.
The Great Krass:
Pelch Gobwit in a drinking contest with Ronilion.
Gobwit:
Known to drink up to forty bottles of beer a day, this accomplished boozer can take the hard stuff in waves. Kept in fine drinking shape by his hard-drinking friend Ilyana Corndork, Gobwit can drink a pub full of miners under the table then recite the UCAS Constitution word for word. His temper though grows shorter as his bar tab grows longer.
Ronilion:
This iconoclastic inebriate not only beat the AA, he managed to beat up on more than a thousand bottles of hooch during the same time period. Rumored to have stayed drunk for an entire year, he can take whatever his opponents throw at him: wine, bubbly, whiskey, gin, vodka, you name it, he drinks it. Possessed of remarkable wit, an iron will and and a stomach to match, he’s the odds-on favorite to take the tournament.
The Build Up
Krass, "Pelch showed up fifteen minutes late, but to his credit he came in with a drink in his hand."
Drassel, "He doesn't have a watch and can't tell time but he is a big believer of having a few before going on a binge. Surely he can’t be under estimating Ronilion.
Krass, "Ronilion seems to thinks so. “If this were war time and you were a general, sir,” he says, “I would sack you on the spot.”
Drassel, “If this were war time,” Pelch fires back, “I’d be dive- bombing your house.”
Krass, "What a pity. With so much in common, I thought they’d be civil."
Pelch orders the first round.
Drassel to Krass, "I’ll wager this Welsh ale is something Ronilion hasn’t had before."
Krass, "Not that it matters. I bet Ronilion would drink furniture polish if he thought there was alcohol in it."
Ronilion orders the next round.
Drassel, "It’s a little known fact Ronilion drank quite a bit of Bud on his latest UCAS tour. The pitchers makes sense."
Krass nods in agreement. "Sure, but Pelch drinks cheap American lager by the case. It won’t make much of a dent. One of them needs to take control of this match or we’ll be here all night."
Pelch Gobwit in a drinking contest with Ronilion.
Gobwit:
Known to drink up to forty bottles of beer a day, this accomplished boozer can take the hard stuff in waves. Kept in fine drinking shape by his hard-drinking friend Ilyana Corndork, Gobwit can drink a pub full of miners under the table then recite the UCAS Constitution word for word. His temper though grows shorter as his bar tab grows longer.
Ronilion:
This iconoclastic inebriate not only beat the AA, he managed to beat up on more than a thousand bottles of hooch during the same time period. Rumored to have stayed drunk for an entire year, he can take whatever his opponents throw at him: wine, bubbly, whiskey, gin, vodka, you name it, he drinks it. Possessed of remarkable wit, an iron will and and a stomach to match, he’s the odds-on favorite to take the tournament.
The Build Up
Krass, "Pelch showed up fifteen minutes late, but to his credit he came in with a drink in his hand."
Drassel, "He doesn't have a watch and can't tell time but he is a big believer of having a few before going on a binge. Surely he can’t be under estimating Ronilion.
Krass, "Ronilion seems to thinks so. “If this were war time and you were a general, sir,” he says, “I would sack you on the spot.”
Drassel, “If this were war time,” Pelch fires back, “I’d be dive- bombing your house.”
Krass, "What a pity. With so much in common, I thought they’d be civil."
Pelch orders the first round.
Drassel to Krass, "I’ll wager this Welsh ale is something Ronilion hasn’t had before."
Krass, "Not that it matters. I bet Ronilion would drink furniture polish if he thought there was alcohol in it."
Ronilion orders the next round.
Drassel, "It’s a little known fact Ronilion drank quite a bit of Bud on his latest UCAS tour. The pitchers makes sense."
Krass nods in agreement. "Sure, but Pelch drinks cheap American lager by the case. It won’t make much of a dent. One of them needs to take control of this match or we’ll be here all night."
The Great Krass:
Krass has posted a picture of him in a strip show while in Vietnam. It is a bit blurry on the edges and Krass is obviously in action with a stripper.
Luddington peers closely at it through coke bottle glasses. He usually doesn't keep up with his prescriptions and eye checks. Then he comments, "That is a great picture of Krass and Eon. Was it taken right before Krass died?"
Eon shrieks and glares, Krass falls out of his chair laughing. Luddington looks confused.
Krass has posted a picture of him in a strip show while in Vietnam. It is a bit blurry on the edges and Krass is obviously in action with a stripper.
Luddington peers closely at it through coke bottle glasses. He usually doesn't keep up with his prescriptions and eye checks. Then he comments, "That is a great picture of Krass and Eon. Was it taken right before Krass died?"
Eon shrieks and glares, Krass falls out of his chair laughing. Luddington looks confused.
Luddington to Ronilion, "Do you have trouble sleeping when drinking?"
Ronilion, "How would I know? I’m usually passed out by then. I do know that anyone nearby has trouble sleeping when I’ve been drinking, what with my snoring and thrashing and yelling obscenities at myself."
Luddington, "You show all the symptoms of being an alcoholic, my son."
Ronilion, "I’ve learned that being an alcoholic means never having to say you’re sorry, except once, when you join A.A., then you have to say it a lot."
Ronilion, "How would I know? I’m usually passed out by then. I do know that anyone nearby has trouble sleeping when I’ve been drinking, what with my snoring and thrashing and yelling obscenities at myself."
Luddington, "You show all the symptoms of being an alcoholic, my son."
Ronilion, "I’ve learned that being an alcoholic means never having to say you’re sorry, except once, when you join A.A., then you have to say it a lot."
The Proboards:
Today Krass/Drassel and Associates is releasing a new product line. Krass is speaking.
Krass: "I have developed a computer chip that can store and play music (MP3 files) in women's Breast implants. The 'Krass iBooB' will cost between 499 and 599 NuYen. This is considered to be a major break-through in cyber implant technology because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them. That's how I got the idea because Eon is always saying that drek to me."
Nekekami: "O.o you are scary you know that? not long ago we were discussing exactly that on another shadowrun board, the german nexus *g*"
Johnson: "jesus krass.. that was funny.."
Fatman: "Don't encourage his perversions. I had all I could do to keep Eon from stuffing his head into a tail pipe when that one came out. Luckily Eon is in California and Krass is Mid-West."
My Hershey Bar almost melted down while I was settling THAT dispute."
"That conversation will not appear of course on this board, Krass and Eon sometimes get REALLY nasty and I wouldn't want to ruin anyone elses meal. We had to cover Luddington's ears for a while. Luckily he was at Drassel's place."
"Hershey Bars... there not just for breakfast anymore."
Nekekami: "so, if it is not appearing over here . . shadowrun quotefile then? *grins*"
Today Krass/Drassel and Associates is releasing a new product line. Krass is speaking.
Krass: "I have developed a computer chip that can store and play music (MP3 files) in women's Breast implants. The 'Krass iBooB' will cost between 499 and 599 NuYen. This is considered to be a major break-through in cyber implant technology because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them. That's how I got the idea because Eon is always saying that drek to me."
Nekekami: "O.o you are scary you know that? not long ago we were discussing exactly that on another shadowrun board, the german nexus *g*"
Johnson: "jesus krass.. that was funny.."
Fatman: "Don't encourage his perversions. I had all I could do to keep Eon from stuffing his head into a tail pipe when that one came out. Luckily Eon is in California and Krass is Mid-West."
My Hershey Bar almost melted down while I was settling THAT dispute."
"That conversation will not appear of course on this board, Krass and Eon sometimes get REALLY nasty and I wouldn't want to ruin anyone elses meal. We had to cover Luddington's ears for a while. Luckily he was at Drassel's place."
"Hershey Bars... there not just for breakfast anymore."
Nekekami: "so, if it is not appearing over here . . shadowrun quotefile then? *grins*"
The Great Krass:
Krass, "I'm not saying that excess food, alcohol, and drugs won't potentially lead to obesity, hangovers, chronic illness, public humiliation, mental impairment, misery, and an early grave. All I'm saying is that it worked for Anna Nicole."
Krass, "I'm not saying that excess food, alcohol, and drugs won't potentially lead to obesity, hangovers, chronic illness, public humiliation, mental impairment, misery, and an early grave. All I'm saying is that it worked for Anna Nicole."
The Great Krass:
Krass, "Are you proud to be black? Proud to be an UCAS citizen? Or perhaps even the proud parent of an honor student? Well then you're already there! If, on the other hand, you're like most women (i.e., trapped in an overflowing latrine of self-loathing), pride might be a little harder to come by. Personally, I recommend trying to be proud of the little things—like the time you wore a tube top to the opera. With practice, you might even be able to perform your thrice-nightly "walk of shame" without sobbing uncontrollably."
"Greed is passion. Greed is desire. It's about flipping the bird to convention, looking out for your own best interest, and living your life the way you want to. That's why I recommend Eon or you other woman, especially young girls becoming prostitutes. You all need some really big events in your life so you have something really horrendous and guilty to feel about later. Then you can blame your husbands for it down the road."
Krass, "Are you proud to be black? Proud to be an UCAS citizen? Or perhaps even the proud parent of an honor student? Well then you're already there! If, on the other hand, you're like most women (i.e., trapped in an overflowing latrine of self-loathing), pride might be a little harder to come by. Personally, I recommend trying to be proud of the little things—like the time you wore a tube top to the opera. With practice, you might even be able to perform your thrice-nightly "walk of shame" without sobbing uncontrollably."
"Greed is passion. Greed is desire. It's about flipping the bird to convention, looking out for your own best interest, and living your life the way you want to. That's why I recommend Eon or you other woman, especially young girls becoming prostitutes. You all need some really big events in your life so you have something really horrendous and guilty to feel about later. Then you can blame your husbands for it down the road."
The Great Krass:
"Mr Mayor, you have been linked with an untold number of sexual partners in the past and your assignations have been both humorous and sleazy. Would you like to comment on this?"
Krass, smiling cheerfully, "To my female constituents I ask the following questions. Is your list of sexual conquests stuck in the low three figures? Do you have less than ten amateur sex tapes currently circulating on the Internet? Do you feel embarrassed employing fellatio as your primary method of career advancement?"
Krass nods knowingly as the reporters mouth gapes. "You are not alone. There are literally tens of women worldwide who are just as virtuous as you. But despair not, Hollywood native Devlin Krass's guide to the Seven Deadly Sins of Dating will have you rivaling the Paris Hilton record in no time."
"Outside of binge drinking, lust is probably the single most important dating tool a woman has. Whether you're looking for a drunken quickie in the bathroom stall, or a long-term commitment lasting an hour or more, lust is what ultimately keeps your ankles up by your ears."
"Mr Mayor, you have been linked with an untold number of sexual partners in the past and your assignations have been both humorous and sleazy. Would you like to comment on this?"
Krass, smiling cheerfully, "To my female constituents I ask the following questions. Is your list of sexual conquests stuck in the low three figures? Do you have less than ten amateur sex tapes currently circulating on the Internet? Do you feel embarrassed employing fellatio as your primary method of career advancement?"
Krass nods knowingly as the reporters mouth gapes. "You are not alone. There are literally tens of women worldwide who are just as virtuous as you. But despair not, Hollywood native Devlin Krass's guide to the Seven Deadly Sins of Dating will have you rivaling the Paris Hilton record in no time."
"Outside of binge drinking, lust is probably the single most important dating tool a woman has. Whether you're looking for a drunken quickie in the bathroom stall, or a long-term commitment lasting an hour or more, lust is what ultimately keeps your ankles up by your ears."
The Great Krass:
Krass, "Many rumors have circulated wildly about my affairs with Eon.As might be expected, lust segues nicely into wrath. No man feels truly loved until he's had his genitalia threatened by kitchen shears. Remember to mail a pair in advance to any romantic vacation spots you might be visiting, because they don't let you carry them on the airplane anymore. In addition, while I would certainly never personally endorse dousing your romantic rivals in gasoline and lighting them on fire, it's a good start. Better yet, If Eon was such a fan of that pseudo science called global warming she should combat said global warming by using bio diesel, which as I recall she did not when she torched my father."
Krass, "Many rumors have circulated wildly about my affairs with Eon.As might be expected, lust segues nicely into wrath. No man feels truly loved until he's had his genitalia threatened by kitchen shears. Remember to mail a pair in advance to any romantic vacation spots you might be visiting, because they don't let you carry them on the airplane anymore. In addition, while I would certainly never personally endorse dousing your romantic rivals in gasoline and lighting them on fire, it's a good start. Better yet, If Eon was such a fan of that pseudo science called global warming she should combat said global warming by using bio diesel, which as I recall she did not when she torched my father."
I don't want to kill him... I want to blow his frigging head off...
-Kahli, Snipper
-Kahli, Snipper
The Great Krass:
This is what happens when whorehouses take on a McDonald's service attitude. It's not fast poon, it's good poon fast!
This is what happens when whorehouses take on a McDonald's service attitude. It's not fast poon, it's good poon fast!
Widow to Pelch:
"While you're busy mucking up your job try not to screw our part of it up to get out from under. Then when the drek hits the fan don't lay the resulting explosion off on the rest of us. That would make for a refreshing change of pace. As an addendum if we don't make it in or out, do us all a favor and don't go riding in like Sir Galahad on a razorback, tilting at windmills, and generally queering the pitch for everyone else with the usual Pelch style. The fallout for that KIND of mistake will be a lot less. We really don't need your special kind of help. If you feel the urge to play good Samaritan, try placing your fat head between your fat buttocks and getting a breath of fresh air. It will be less painful for you than you running around doing what you call thinking."
After a night of decking, Headcrack walked out to check in with the team as Pelch consider throwing the hot grease laden pan at the Widow. It was going to be another day in the Z Street neighborhood.
"While you're busy mucking up your job try not to screw our part of it up to get out from under. Then when the drek hits the fan don't lay the resulting explosion off on the rest of us. That would make for a refreshing change of pace. As an addendum if we don't make it in or out, do us all a favor and don't go riding in like Sir Galahad on a razorback, tilting at windmills, and generally queering the pitch for everyone else with the usual Pelch style. The fallout for that KIND of mistake will be a lot less. We really don't need your special kind of help. If you feel the urge to play good Samaritan, try placing your fat head between your fat buttocks and getting a breath of fresh air. It will be less painful for you than you running around doing what you call thinking."
After a night of decking, Headcrack walked out to check in with the team as Pelch consider throwing the hot grease laden pan at the Widow. It was going to be another day in the Z Street neighborhood.
Pelch to Freddy and Widow:
"Hey Snake, can we change your name to Oedipus for this job?" Freddy thought for a moment and then glared. Mao looked at Pelch curiously. "Why Oedipus? Will it help him on the next job?" Freddy looked at Mao in disgust. Widow looked confused.
Pelch smiled at Mao enjoying the snakes reaction. Sometimes the kid was a great straight man, asking just the right question at just the right time. "Widow could even become Madre Oedipus. Bound to help them on the next job, partner. Everyone will know just what kind of a stand-up guy he is and what kind or fine upstanding model of womanhood she is." Then Pelch said softly to Freddy, "Right Madre-fragger?" Freddy considered all the possibilities of a fireball enema as a motivator of respect. It would probably be a waste of manna. Some things are just too stupid to learn.
"Hey Snake, can we change your name to Oedipus for this job?" Freddy thought for a moment and then glared. Mao looked at Pelch curiously. "Why Oedipus? Will it help him on the next job?" Freddy looked at Mao in disgust. Widow looked confused.
Pelch smiled at Mao enjoying the snakes reaction. Sometimes the kid was a great straight man, asking just the right question at just the right time. "Widow could even become Madre Oedipus. Bound to help them on the next job, partner. Everyone will know just what kind of a stand-up guy he is and what kind or fine upstanding model of womanhood she is." Then Pelch said softly to Freddy, "Right Madre-fragger?" Freddy considered all the possibilities of a fireball enema as a motivator of respect. It would probably be a waste of manna. Some things are just too stupid to learn.
The Great Krass:
Eon to Krass: "You have absolutely no morals whatsoever. Where were your parents when you were growing up?"
Krass: "My father used to tell me things when I was younger. For instance I remember one story. My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Sharon. Aunt Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the first Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of a bunch of enemy troops. She killed about a third of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed some more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last couple with her bare hands."
Luddington: "Good heavens, What kind of moral did your dad tell you from that horrible story?"
Krass: "Stay the fark away from Aunt Sharon when she's been drinking."
Eon to Krass: "You have absolutely no morals whatsoever. Where were your parents when you were growing up?"
Krass: "My father used to tell me things when I was younger. For instance I remember one story. My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Sharon. Aunt Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the first Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of a bunch of enemy troops. She killed about a third of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed some more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last couple with her bare hands."
Luddington: "Good heavens, What kind of moral did your dad tell you from that horrible story?"
Krass: "Stay the fark away from Aunt Sharon when she's been drinking."
The Great Krass:
OOC: Fatman to Krass: "I heard you're going to be doing a lecture soon."
OOC: Krass: "You heard right."
OOC: Fatman: "I want you to take a note along just in case."
OOC: Krass: "What's the note say?"
OOC: Fatman: ""The opinions expressed by this idiot are not necessarily those of anyone normal."
OOC: Fatman to Krass: "I heard you're going to be doing a lecture soon."
OOC: Krass: "You heard right."
OOC: Fatman: "I want you to take a note along just in case."
OOC: Krass: "What's the note say?"
OOC: Fatman: ""The opinions expressed by this idiot are not necessarily those of anyone normal."
The Great Krass:
Krass: "I dodge the guards by ducking into the YWCA."
GM: "No good Krass. You don't have enough of a lead. They spotted you going in the door."
Krass: "I duck into the woman's locker room."
GM: "The woman start grabbing for towels and clothes. There is a lot of screaming."
Krass: "I look at them as if surprised and say; 'What's the matter haven't you ever seen a man before?'
Krass: "I dodge the guards by ducking into the YWCA."
GM: "No good Krass. You don't have enough of a lead. They spotted you going in the door."
Krass: "I duck into the woman's locker room."
GM: "The woman start grabbing for towels and clothes. There is a lot of screaming."
Krass: "I look at them as if surprised and say; 'What's the matter haven't you ever seen a man before?'
The Great Krass:
JoAnne: "Krass if you make one more sexually related comment I am going to leave this meeting."
Krass: Krass looks at Eon and smiles. "Did you hear about the shortage of whores in China? The Chinese government is closing all the houses for the Olympics."
Eon and JoAnne get up to leave.
Krass: "Don't be in a hurry girls, the plane won't be leaving until next Tuesday."
JoAnne: "Krass if you make one more sexually related comment I am going to leave this meeting."
Krass: Krass looks at Eon and smiles. "Did you hear about the shortage of whores in China? The Chinese government is closing all the houses for the Olympics."
Eon and JoAnne get up to leave.
Krass: "Don't be in a hurry girls, the plane won't be leaving until next Tuesday."
Ryld (Me, Deadpool-style merc), Tuneup (rigger and sharpshooter), and Jacobite (Street Meat and all around arse) were pinned down behind a stripped landrover on a gravel lot in Puyallup. Holloweeners had managed to surround our safehouse and were getting ready to toast the place, something to do with me making their leader into an ornamental vace or something, anyway... After thoroughly trashing them with the various traps and pot shots, we were left jumping out of a window into the back lot of the building to escape the three remaining tuff guys. We were down to melee weapons with Jacobite having the only projectile of the bunch (a Predator III with one round left). The gangers followed us out back and reigned down on the landrover we were hiding behind with SMGs and an LMG (our GM is a bit non-descriptive with things he thinks we're gonna kill quickly.)
GM: "Okay, so top of initiative, Ryld?"
Me: "Calling up dockwagon and warning them I might be dead soon."
GM: "OK. Tuneup?"
Tuneup: "I extend my spurs and wait in a battle crouch."
GM: "Right. I'm gonna regret this, but the firing has stopped. It sounds like they're reloading. You hear the sound of footsteps slowly approaching. Jacobite?"
Jacobite: "I spin out and hold out my pistol to fire, what do I see?"
GM: "On the left, SMG and body armour. In the middle SMG with just street clothes, On the right LMG, with armour and a big hat with special looking pins and patches on it. Who d'you-"
Jacobite: "HAT! BOOM!"
GM: "Okay, so top of initiative, Ryld?"
Me: "Calling up dockwagon and warning them I might be dead soon."
GM: "OK. Tuneup?"
Tuneup: "I extend my spurs and wait in a battle crouch."
GM: "Right. I'm gonna regret this, but the firing has stopped. It sounds like they're reloading. You hear the sound of footsteps slowly approaching. Jacobite?"
Jacobite: "I spin out and hold out my pistol to fire, what do I see?"
GM: "On the left, SMG and body armour. In the middle SMG with just street clothes, On the right LMG, with armour and a big hat with special looking pins and patches on it. Who d'you-"
Jacobite: "HAT! BOOM!"
"Hey Krass, outside of chasing Eon or getting chased BY Eon, what do you do for exercise?"
Krass, "Well I start by focusing on a pre-training regimen of cardiovascular conditioning and snorting eye-wateringly large amounts of cocaine."
Krass, "Well I start by focusing on a pre-training regimen of cardiovascular conditioning and snorting eye-wateringly large amounts of cocaine."
The Great Krass:
Mao raised his hands carefully and slowly off the stearing wheel. In record time he was handcuffed and was being searched. They quickly found his papers identifying him as Om Kincer. The female officer smiled, "You're the best collar of the day. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney one will be appointed for you. Do you give up the right to remain silent?"
Another officer right behind Mao immediately said, "Yes. I don't need no stinking attorney. I'm also going to resist arrest and kill lots of pigs and plant even more bombs around the city after I gas more people at the malls."
The female officer nodded with a smile and looked at her fellow cops and some bystanders. She nodded her head. "Did everyone hear the prisoners response?" Everyone nodded in agreement. Looking at the officer behind Om who had spoken she motioned for him to come forward. "Get statements from everyone to that affect, please." She looked at Mao again with that same sweet smile. "You are going away for a long time, creep. You know how many people your bombs and terrorist buddies have killed today. Word is that you are the number one guy on the UCAS wanted list. I hope they never let you out. Take him away."
Mao raised his hands carefully and slowly off the stearing wheel. In record time he was handcuffed and was being searched. They quickly found his papers identifying him as Om Kincer. The female officer smiled, "You're the best collar of the day. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney one will be appointed for you. Do you give up the right to remain silent?"
Another officer right behind Mao immediately said, "Yes. I don't need no stinking attorney. I'm also going to resist arrest and kill lots of pigs and plant even more bombs around the city after I gas more people at the malls."
The female officer nodded with a smile and looked at her fellow cops and some bystanders. She nodded her head. "Did everyone hear the prisoners response?" Everyone nodded in agreement. Looking at the officer behind Om who had spoken she motioned for him to come forward. "Get statements from everyone to that affect, please." She looked at Mao again with that same sweet smile. "You are going away for a long time, creep. You know how many people your bombs and terrorist buddies have killed today. Word is that you are the number one guy on the UCAS wanted list. I hope they never let you out. Take him away."
The Great Krass:
Pelch was distracted though and taking the rest of the keys off the ring from Mao was trying to find one to open the brief case. Looking up he spotted something. "Quick, pull over next to that guy. I need to talk with him." Mao nodded and pulled over to the curb. Pelch rolls down the window. There is a guy crying, the crowd seems to be studiously ignoring him. "What's wrong with you?"
"Someone spray painted me yellow, I'm from France, I'm gay and I'm hungry,"
Pelch shrugged, "We all got problems but I got this cheese sandwich in my brief case. You can have it, but it's about all I can do for you." Pelch handed the guy the sandwich and rolled up the window. Mao without comment drove on. Pelch went back to examining the briefcase.
Mao smiled. "You must be going nutter giving away food like that. It's a side to you I've never seen before."
"Meaning I'm a cold hard street dwarf and giving away a sandwich to some hungry guy is not acceptable? It's just fragging impossible for a dwarf to give something away?"
"Exactly. Sort of like some saying the impossible when you're drunk."
"You mean like the words, 'Nope, no more booze for me and no kebab either, thank you?' " Pelch stated with a half smile.
" I'm glad to see you still have a sense of humor. Close enough though for a mental midget like you. Actually I was thinking more along the lines of, 'Thanks for the offer, but I don't want to sleep with you. Sorry, but you're not really my type."
"Cute fragging cute. Well according to this teaching chip in my brain, I heard that one in five people are Chinese. So who's your Daddy, Mommy and other two siblings?" Pelch growled as he looked back in the briefcase.
Mao flipped Pelch the bird but kept on driving. Pelch looked again out the window for a bit. "Hey Quick, pull over can you believe it? Two criers in one day!" Mao shrugged and pulled over as Pelch again rolled down the window. "What's your problem, omae?"
""Someone spray painted me red, I'm from the Nan, I'm gay and I'm thirsty,"
Pelch shrugged, "We all got problems but I got this Krass Kola in my brief case. You can have it, but it's about all I can do for you." Pelch handed the guy the unpopular fizzy drink and rolled up the window. Mao without comment drove on. Pelch smiled at Mao, "Someones going around spray painting joy boy toys from different nations. I wonder what that's all about. Think they'll spray paint Widow Black?" Mao shrugged. "The things you see in this town."
Mao spoke up again, "I knew it. You've gone soft. TWO acts of charity in the same day. If I didn't know better I would say that maybe you did learn something from your mother."
" You don't want to know what I learned from my mother, but I'll tell you anyways. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. She used to say to me and my brothers, "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." ......
Mao interrupted, "She was right there." Pelch glared, "Now we start with the short jokes?" Mao smiled and continued driving. Pelch glared some more, "So you like jokes? Well I got one for you." Suddenly he again noticed something. Hey! It's Quick! Pull over." Mao didn't see Quick. All he saw was a quick glimpse of blue, but he pulled over to the curb anyway. Pelch rolled down the window. Mao wondered how long Pelch was going to keep pulling them over for this drek. He wanted to get off the street and out of this stolen car.
Pelch was still looking angry as he stuck his head out the window but Mao had a bad angle and couldn't get a good look at the person Pelch was yelling at. Pelch spoke
angrily. Mao could at least hear that. The dwarf sounded like he had a megaphone. Everyone in the crowd was looking. Mao didn't like all the sudden attention. "Yes? you silly little blue queer, what fragging country are you from and what do you want?"
Mao shook his head. Typical Pelch, dwarf manners. Things were getting back to normal after the random acts of kindness. It must have been that darn chipset BB had stuck in the idiots head. He made a mental note to ask her more about that when things eased up again. His musings were cut short and then his blood ran cold as a female voice spoke quietly in reply, "Your driver's licence, please..."
Pelch was distracted though and taking the rest of the keys off the ring from Mao was trying to find one to open the brief case. Looking up he spotted something. "Quick, pull over next to that guy. I need to talk with him." Mao nodded and pulled over to the curb. Pelch rolls down the window. There is a guy crying, the crowd seems to be studiously ignoring him. "What's wrong with you?"
"Someone spray painted me yellow, I'm from France, I'm gay and I'm hungry,"
Pelch shrugged, "We all got problems but I got this cheese sandwich in my brief case. You can have it, but it's about all I can do for you." Pelch handed the guy the sandwich and rolled up the window. Mao without comment drove on. Pelch went back to examining the briefcase.
Mao smiled. "You must be going nutter giving away food like that. It's a side to you I've never seen before."
"Meaning I'm a cold hard street dwarf and giving away a sandwich to some hungry guy is not acceptable? It's just fragging impossible for a dwarf to give something away?"
"Exactly. Sort of like some saying the impossible when you're drunk."
"You mean like the words, 'Nope, no more booze for me and no kebab either, thank you?' " Pelch stated with a half smile.
" I'm glad to see you still have a sense of humor. Close enough though for a mental midget like you. Actually I was thinking more along the lines of, 'Thanks for the offer, but I don't want to sleep with you. Sorry, but you're not really my type."
"Cute fragging cute. Well according to this teaching chip in my brain, I heard that one in five people are Chinese. So who's your Daddy, Mommy and other two siblings?" Pelch growled as he looked back in the briefcase.
Mao flipped Pelch the bird but kept on driving. Pelch looked again out the window for a bit. "Hey Quick, pull over can you believe it? Two criers in one day!" Mao shrugged and pulled over as Pelch again rolled down the window. "What's your problem, omae?"
""Someone spray painted me red, I'm from the Nan, I'm gay and I'm thirsty,"
Pelch shrugged, "We all got problems but I got this Krass Kola in my brief case. You can have it, but it's about all I can do for you." Pelch handed the guy the unpopular fizzy drink and rolled up the window. Mao without comment drove on. Pelch smiled at Mao, "Someones going around spray painting joy boy toys from different nations. I wonder what that's all about. Think they'll spray paint Widow Black?" Mao shrugged. "The things you see in this town."
Mao spoke up again, "I knew it. You've gone soft. TWO acts of charity in the same day. If I didn't know better I would say that maybe you did learn something from your mother."
" You don't want to know what I learned from my mother, but I'll tell you anyways. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. She used to say to me and my brothers, "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." ......
Mao interrupted, "She was right there." Pelch glared, "Now we start with the short jokes?" Mao smiled and continued driving. Pelch glared some more, "So you like jokes? Well I got one for you." Suddenly he again noticed something. Hey! It's Quick! Pull over." Mao didn't see Quick. All he saw was a quick glimpse of blue, but he pulled over to the curb anyway. Pelch rolled down the window. Mao wondered how long Pelch was going to keep pulling them over for this drek. He wanted to get off the street and out of this stolen car.
Pelch was still looking angry as he stuck his head out the window but Mao had a bad angle and couldn't get a good look at the person Pelch was yelling at. Pelch spoke
angrily. Mao could at least hear that. The dwarf sounded like he had a megaphone. Everyone in the crowd was looking. Mao didn't like all the sudden attention. "Yes? you silly little blue queer, what fragging country are you from and what do you want?"
Mao shook his head. Typical Pelch, dwarf manners. Things were getting back to normal after the random acts of kindness. It must have been that darn chipset BB had stuck in the idiots head. He made a mental note to ask her more about that when things eased up again. His musings were cut short and then his blood ran cold as a female voice spoke quietly in reply, "Your driver's licence, please..."
The Great Krass;
Pelch smiled as he opened the wallet and took out the cred sticks and SIN. Mao slammed the door and pulled away running over the hapless suit they had just mugged. Just another mugging in the big city. "This guy has a house let's go there and think for a bit. It's on the Seattle Street of Dreams, which is North." Mao quickly made a U-turn to the consternation of several on coming vehicles. Mao again went past the suit. The suit was being stripped already by the vacrants and kids. So much for your fellow man. {He should have had a Doc Wagon bracelet Mao thought. }
Pelch smiled as he opened the wallet and took out the cred sticks and SIN. Mao slammed the door and pulled away running over the hapless suit they had just mugged. Just another mugging in the big city. "This guy has a house let's go there and think for a bit. It's on the Seattle Street of Dreams, which is North." Mao quickly made a U-turn to the consternation of several on coming vehicles. Mao again went past the suit. The suit was being stripped already by the vacrants and kids. So much for your fellow man. {He should have had a Doc Wagon bracelet Mao thought. }
The Great Krass:
Mao wondered if there was an ejection button for the passenger seat. It was that KIND of Kodak moment he was really longing for. Pelch was still yelling insults into the communicator punctuated by blasts from his airhorn. Mao was coming up fast on I-5 and he saw what he dreaded, Not only was there a roadblock, there was a Wasp overhead jockeying for position. Things were looking grim. They went from grim to soiling the underwear in record time.
Mao looked on horrified like a rat looking at a large snake. The situation was going to get even worse without him being able to change it. His life flashed before his eyes. The surface to air missile on top of the City Master suddenly whined and acquired a target. It was the chopper. How in fragging Catholic School HELL had the stupid fragging moron dwarf imbecile gotten around the command codes to even enable the device? It was obvious that he had and Mao belatedly wondered about that Troll school that BB had sent Pelch to that weekend. What skills had the idiot picked up? Darn that BB and fragging twit Freddy!! Educating Pelch was like handing a loaded weapon to a kid. He was beginning to regret that they had ever started training the fool.
Mao wondered if there was an ejection button for the passenger seat. It was that KIND of Kodak moment he was really longing for. Pelch was still yelling insults into the communicator punctuated by blasts from his airhorn. Mao was coming up fast on I-5 and he saw what he dreaded, Not only was there a roadblock, there was a Wasp overhead jockeying for position. Things were looking grim. They went from grim to soiling the underwear in record time.
Mao looked on horrified like a rat looking at a large snake. The situation was going to get even worse without him being able to change it. His life flashed before his eyes. The surface to air missile on top of the City Master suddenly whined and acquired a target. It was the chopper. How in fragging Catholic School HELL had the stupid fragging moron dwarf imbecile gotten around the command codes to even enable the device? It was obvious that he had and Mao belatedly wondered about that Troll school that BB had sent Pelch to that weekend. What skills had the idiot picked up? Darn that BB and fragging twit Freddy!! Educating Pelch was like handing a loaded weapon to a kid. He was beginning to regret that they had ever started training the fool.
The Great Krass;
Pelch looked at Mao with a deadpan look, "Well this IS a surprise. I didn't expect them to call out the tanks this early."
The main gun on the tank boomed as a smokey fire erupted from the main gun. Mao jerked the City Master to the left side and his left front wheel bounced over a Chrysler/Nissan Jackrabbit crushing it to powder. The City Master tilted up onto two wheels allowing just enough clearence for the shell to whiz by. It slammed into a building at the end of the street with disastrous results. "Only an anti-armor shell, luckily for the inhabitants." Mao reflected.
"If you're dead you're not lucky. Pelch stated blithely as Mao again turned left towards I-5 leaving the Panser behind for a few moments only.
Pelch looked at Mao with a deadpan look, "Well this IS a surprise. I didn't expect them to call out the tanks this early."
The main gun on the tank boomed as a smokey fire erupted from the main gun. Mao jerked the City Master to the left side and his left front wheel bounced over a Chrysler/Nissan Jackrabbit crushing it to powder. The City Master tilted up onto two wheels allowing just enough clearence for the shell to whiz by. It slammed into a building at the end of the street with disastrous results. "Only an anti-armor shell, luckily for the inhabitants." Mao reflected.
"If you're dead you're not lucky. Pelch stated blithely as Mao again turned left towards I-5 leaving the Panser behind for a few moments only.
The Great Krass:
Pelch to Mao, "By the way what is that up ahead?"
Mao smiled grimly, "A Panser Main Battle Tank with all the refinements, Dra, Old Buddy. Better leave a message so that Lone Star can send your body to your head when it gets done with us."
Pelch to Mao, "By the way what is that up ahead?"
Mao smiled grimly, "A Panser Main Battle Tank with all the refinements, Dra, Old Buddy. Better leave a message so that Lone Star can send your body to your head when it gets done with us."
The Great Krass:
Pelch Gobwit and Mao have 'borrowed' a Lone Star City Master. Pelch is on the radio talking to them as Mao is trying to get away, ". "Hey Porkbottom, hurry up, we got donuts!"
Pelch Gobwit and Mao have 'borrowed' a Lone Star City Master. Pelch is on the radio talking to them as Mao is trying to get away, ". "Hey Porkbottom, hurry up, we got donuts!"
You say OOCly, "Probably a few steps away. Everyone may now roll initiative."
Mo says OOCly, "it was a punch in the face... not combat."
Mo says OOCly, "it was a punch in the face... not combat."
Headcrack was sitting in the meeting room when Pelch, and Mao were escorted in. Pelch spoke to Mao as he spotted Headcrack, "I knew we shouldn't have just walked in here. Didn't you see the Environmental Hazard signs outside?"
Mao looked blandly at Pelch. "Great comment from the only guy whoever got a refund back from the 'Odor Eaters' people." He nodded to Headcrack and took the refreshments. Mao feared no beer. He spoke around an egg roll, "If they wanted to kill us they would have already tried. They have no pressing reason to poison us or drug us. When they offer free food you might just as well take it. You can console yourself with the fact that Pelch didn't cook it with hot sauce and that you're getting a free lunch. Maybe they'll throw in the dry cleaning too."
Headcrack shrugged, "Maybe after a diet of drek prison food this stuff looks good to you?"
Mao shook his head in a negative way. "Actually, compared to what I had in prison this stuff is the drek." He continued to eat.
Pelch looked disgusted. "That's the first guy I EVER heard that likes prison food better than food on the outside." He sat down and put his feet on the table as he leaned back in the large chair. "I'm surrounded by idiots."
Mao looked blandly at Pelch. "Great comment from the only guy whoever got a refund back from the 'Odor Eaters' people." He nodded to Headcrack and took the refreshments. Mao feared no beer. He spoke around an egg roll, "If they wanted to kill us they would have already tried. They have no pressing reason to poison us or drug us. When they offer free food you might just as well take it. You can console yourself with the fact that Pelch didn't cook it with hot sauce and that you're getting a free lunch. Maybe they'll throw in the dry cleaning too."
Headcrack shrugged, "Maybe after a diet of drek prison food this stuff looks good to you?"
Mao shook his head in a negative way. "Actually, compared to what I had in prison this stuff is the drek." He continued to eat.
Pelch looked disgusted. "That's the first guy I EVER heard that likes prison food better than food on the outside." He sat down and put his feet on the table as he leaned back in the large chair. "I'm surrounded by idiots."
GM: So, What are you going to do?
Shrike: I throw a grenade through the window....
GM: Your character doesn't think that's a good idea, after all, it is bullet-proof glass.
Shrike: Then I shoot the glass and throw the grenade through it....
GM: *Shakes Head*.
-Tachi
Shrike: I throw a grenade through the window....
GM: Your character doesn't think that's a good idea, after all, it is bullet-proof glass.
Shrike: Then I shoot the glass and throw the grenade through it....
GM: *Shakes Head*.
-Tachi
The Great Krass:
Mao aimed the hose into the room and cranked the lever. Water in a solid stream smashed it's way through the hose and into the room. His aim was perfect even though the hose was hard to control. It hit the curled up Pelch dead center in his butt and slid him, sqawking loudly, across the room and into a wall. Mao turned off the water as Pelch soaking wet against the wall glared at Mao.
Pelch snarled, "You know Mao, ours is not just an ordinary partnership it's almost like a marriage. Maybe it's time I took out the trash." Mao smiled.
"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. I want breakfast and it's time to go to work. Besides you needed a bath. You slept in your clothes again. You have also been into the wine again. If you look in the closet the Control has placed business suits in them for you." Mao showed off his own fashion statement.
Mao aimed the hose into the room and cranked the lever. Water in a solid stream smashed it's way through the hose and into the room. His aim was perfect even though the hose was hard to control. It hit the curled up Pelch dead center in his butt and slid him, sqawking loudly, across the room and into a wall. Mao turned off the water as Pelch soaking wet against the wall glared at Mao.
Pelch snarled, "You know Mao, ours is not just an ordinary partnership it's almost like a marriage. Maybe it's time I took out the trash." Mao smiled.
"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. I want breakfast and it's time to go to work. Besides you needed a bath. You slept in your clothes again. You have also been into the wine again. If you look in the closet the Control has placed business suits in them for you." Mao showed off his own fashion statement.
The Great Krass:
"I thought Patterson was a quack but remind me never to get sick when Mao is around."
Mao looked at Headcrack who seemed to be recovering. somewhat, but still looked weak and pale. He handed the orc a towel and then a robe and helped him into the medical room. Once he had him safely in one of the Medical beds Mao began to work. He touched several pressure points and then took out a bowl and poured some strange smelling oil in it from a flask. Headcrack watched as Mao set the bowl on fire.
Mao was fast. Headcrack was surprised and stunned. Mao placed his hand in the fire and lifted some of the oil into a cup and slammed the cup into the orc's chest. It was done so fast the cup was suctioned to the orc's chest. Headcrack could smell hair burning. Even as the pain hit Mao did this with two more cups! Headcrack howling in pain tried to remove one of the burning cups but Mao slapped his hand aside. Mao again placed his hand in the fire and covered his hand in flaming oil and began to vigorously rub the orc's chest, back and sides with the flaming hot oil!
Hair burned. Headcrack howled more in surprise than pain. Headcrack was sure the pain would come later. He tried to avoid Mao but Mao, unsurprised by the reaction, had no trouble continuing his procedure. Suddenly Mao took his flaming fingers and poked Headcrack in several places and then quickly pulled the cups off the orcs chest. Headcrack looked for something to hit Mao with and then he looked for his gun. Nothing was readily available. Mao smiled calmly.
Mao took out his wooden case and opened it. He held up a large gleaming needle and looked at Headcrack like he was a bug about to be pinned to a board. Mao smiled.
Widow and Freddy had watched Pelch come out and clean up the room and then go to get changed. Yells and screams came from the medical room then stopped. Widow looked at Freddy with some confusion. Suddenly a scream of pure terror came from the room and Headcrack still bent over in a robe came out of the room hobbling. He looked like he had a fishing pole stuck out of his robe. Mao calmly walked out holding a very long sharp needle. "Stop being such a baby. This won't hurt." Mao stated in his quiet way.
Headcrack tried to back away, hiding his problem from Widow and Freddy but was totally unsuccessful. It was pretty obvious. "NO WAY! You keep those needles away from me!" Headcrack screamed at Mao his skin all red and hairless from the previous treatment. Mao shrugged.
"I thought Patterson was a quack but remind me never to get sick when Mao is around."
Mao looked at Headcrack who seemed to be recovering. somewhat, but still looked weak and pale. He handed the orc a towel and then a robe and helped him into the medical room. Once he had him safely in one of the Medical beds Mao began to work. He touched several pressure points and then took out a bowl and poured some strange smelling oil in it from a flask. Headcrack watched as Mao set the bowl on fire.
Mao was fast. Headcrack was surprised and stunned. Mao placed his hand in the fire and lifted some of the oil into a cup and slammed the cup into the orc's chest. It was done so fast the cup was suctioned to the orc's chest. Headcrack could smell hair burning. Even as the pain hit Mao did this with two more cups! Headcrack howling in pain tried to remove one of the burning cups but Mao slapped his hand aside. Mao again placed his hand in the fire and covered his hand in flaming oil and began to vigorously rub the orc's chest, back and sides with the flaming hot oil!
Hair burned. Headcrack howled more in surprise than pain. Headcrack was sure the pain would come later. He tried to avoid Mao but Mao, unsurprised by the reaction, had no trouble continuing his procedure. Suddenly Mao took his flaming fingers and poked Headcrack in several places and then quickly pulled the cups off the orcs chest. Headcrack looked for something to hit Mao with and then he looked for his gun. Nothing was readily available. Mao smiled calmly.
Mao took out his wooden case and opened it. He held up a large gleaming needle and looked at Headcrack like he was a bug about to be pinned to a board. Mao smiled.
Widow and Freddy had watched Pelch come out and clean up the room and then go to get changed. Yells and screams came from the medical room then stopped. Widow looked at Freddy with some confusion. Suddenly a scream of pure terror came from the room and Headcrack still bent over in a robe came out of the room hobbling. He looked like he had a fishing pole stuck out of his robe. Mao calmly walked out holding a very long sharp needle. "Stop being such a baby. This won't hurt." Mao stated in his quiet way.
Headcrack tried to back away, hiding his problem from Widow and Freddy but was totally unsuccessful. It was pretty obvious. "NO WAY! You keep those needles away from me!" Headcrack screamed at Mao his skin all red and hairless from the previous treatment. Mao shrugged.
The Great Krass:
Mao wandered out into the common area to grab some breakfast. He wass dressed in a brand new Bill Blasted suit jacket that he had found in his room. He was wearing a business mans hat, very expensive and comfortable and best of all ARMORED. He shaped it like a cowboy hat. Unfortunately he didn't like the tie or dress shoes that were with the suit, so he was still wearing his Mock Death Ranger Boots and a shirt that stated, 'The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy." Mao liked the red color of the shirt with the white lettering. The pants were loose and comfortable.
Mao wandered out into the common area to grab some breakfast. He wass dressed in a brand new Bill Blasted suit jacket that he had found in his room. He was wearing a business mans hat, very expensive and comfortable and best of all ARMORED. He shaped it like a cowboy hat. Unfortunately he didn't like the tie or dress shoes that were with the suit, so he was still wearing his Mock Death Ranger Boots and a shirt that stated, 'The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy." Mao liked the red color of the shirt with the white lettering. The pants were loose and comfortable.
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